Relationships are about making the other person feel good. I learned this recently from my teacher, Harijiwan. It’s really brilliant when you stop to think about it. How many times to we get upset with other people because they’re not doing what we want or acting how we’d like them to?
The other thing that Harijiwan pointed out that I think was absolutely brilliant is that when another person looks like they’re sad, or angry or upset or having a bad time of it, you don’t ask them, “Hey are you okay, upset, angry, sad…” or whatever. You don’t go inside their space unless they ask you to. If they want to talk about it they’ll do so. Your job, in relationship to the other person is to make them feel better. Don’t ask them what’s wrong but rather ask them, “Can I get you anything?” And if they say no, then just let them be in whatever space they’re in and if they want your help they’ll ask.
I’d never thought of it this way and it’s changed the way I think about my relationship to everyone.